The Tiger and Brahman
The story I have written is a take on a classic Indian Fairy Tale about a Tiger, a Brahman, and a Jackal. I have chosen to focus only on the Tiger and Brahman, and create a story entirely its own.
Story Source: Indian Fairy Tales by Joseph Jacobs
One scorching hot mid-August afternoon, a Tiger was strolling along the road and happened upon a cool shaded well.
The Tiger, being thirsty from the heat, says to himself, “I must have some of this water or I will surely die.” He slowly strolls over to the well and reaches out for the bucket. At that very moment, a cage springs up from the ground as if it were magic!
The Tiger is frightened and begins to claw and bite at the bars but to no avail. He is trapped. A voice of laughter slowly reaches him. The Tiger turns to see a Brahman sitting on a stool laughing at him.
The Brahman says to the Tiger, “You fool! You have fallen directly into my trap and now I will sell you to the highest bidder.”
“You can’t sell me!” said the Tiger, “I am too valuable to you.”
“And pray” said the Brahman, “tell me how on earth you would be valuable to me.”
“Let me out of this cage,” cried the Tiger,” and I will show you how I can be of service to you.”
“You are out of your mind if you think I would let you out of this cage Tiger.”
“There must be some way that you would trust me enough to release me from this cage.” said the Tiger.
“Why if you were to tell me your greatest weakness,” said the Brahman, “I might just think about letting you out. But first you must tell me how you are valuable to me.”
“Well,” began the Tiger, “I am very strong and a fearsome fighter, and this road is fraught with thieves and murderers who might wish you harm. I could accompany you to the end of the road to keep you safe, and then you set me free.”
“That is a very interesting proposition.” Said the Brahman as he thought it over. “You have yourself a deal as long as you tell me your greatest weakness.”
“Oh of course,” said the Tiger, “I am blind in my right eye so cannot see anyone approaching from the right side.”
“Very well!” exclaimed the Brahman, “You will accompany me to safety and then be set free.”
The Brahman found the key in his pocket and released the Tiger. Within the blink of an eye the Tiger was on the Brahman. “What are you doing? cried the Brahman, “we had a deal!”
“I don’t care about whatever deal we had“ said the Tiger, “no one plays tricks on me and expects to live.” And with that, the Tiger killed the Brahman and went back to the well for a refreshing drink of water.
Sere Kahn https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/95/Shere_Khan_Disney_Jungle_Book.jpg
Hello Tatum, I really liked this story it was very interesting to read I was a big fan of the twist where the tiger attacked the brahman. You did a really good with the speaking likes and it was a very easy story to understand and I was very happy read it.
ReplyDeleteHi there Tatum, I enjoyed your retelling of this story. Your story flowed very well and I did enjoy that most of the writing is done as speaking from the characters. Dialogue and that style of writing is something I struggle with so good job! I am unsure of what adding the Jackal would have done to your story, but maybe you could revise and it in as well. I think I will have to go and read the original now!
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story as a whole, but my favorite part was definitely how the tiger was the clever one instead of the dumb jerk-ish character. I also liked how you had a scorpion and the frog vibe to it. The Brahman was totally a jerk, so I was a big fan of seeing him get his comeuppance. I wonder how the Brahman set up the trap. I'm not very familiar with trapping, so I'm really curious how the Brahman set it up and kept such a big trap hidden. He comes across like the trap was an easy set-up, but with his personality, I just imagine he had a bad time with it in the most ridiculous way! The only thing I think would make the story even better is if the tenses stayed consistent throughout. I thought the story worked really well in present tense, so I would suggest keeping the story to that.
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